Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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