Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
