It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
