have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
