I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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