marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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