you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
