so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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