it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
