I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
