Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
