Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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