I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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