Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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