so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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