I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
