Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
