You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
