is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize