Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
