The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
