the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
