Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
