she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
