Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize