Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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