Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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