Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
