I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
