took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize