that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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