the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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