it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
