I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
