D3 body, D1 cock
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize