There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
