Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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