There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
