just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
