hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
barbara walters just said penis...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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