Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
