You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
