can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
