Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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