It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
