we're blogging at a bar
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
