I can tuck mytits in my pants
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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