I bet he comes in French.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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