I hate your face
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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