wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
