I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
