wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
