Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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