So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
