What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize