thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize