Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
