how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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