It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize