We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
