ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
