Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
