just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
