By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need help removing her.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
