You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
50% drunk capacity currently
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
