the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
