I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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