either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ketchup is God's man juice
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
