Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
