I feel great
I just peed on a car
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
